As we go through the purification fires and more and more of our pain is pushed up, our human response is to go into anger, into denial, and into blaming. We say things like, “I don’t deserve this pain or the way that person treated me. They are the reason I feel this way.”
Perhaps we were treated poorly by someone else. Perhaps someone harmed you out of spite and carelessness. But holding onto that pain, the blame, and the resentment that comes with being hurt only makes you smaller. It leads to anger, and it holds you in the place of victimhood.
The inner victims are our point of powerlessness. We have let someone else hold our wellbeing, our self esteem, and our happiness in their hands. We let their actions define how we feel. The inner victim depends on their “abuser” for validation, for worth, and for safety. And when we don’t get exactly what we want, we blame them. We replace our pain with anger rather than heal it and clear it away.
No one deserves to be abused or taken advantage of. But you also don’t deserve to hold onto pain and resentment for the rest of your life. You deserve to be healed and to be happy without the baggage that victimhood carries. The victim is angry and helpless; be in your power and rise above those old wounds.
As a child I went through both sexual and emotional abuse. For most of my life, I had no idea even where to start healing, but I desperately wanted to. I knew I was more powerful, that there was more out there for me, but I felt held down by these inner wounds. After years of therapy with little to no improvement, I knew what I had to try: self-love.
Self-love and self-care is central to beginning your healing. It helps you understand your worth, where your wounds specifically lie, and how to forgive yourself. Self-love showed me that I am more than what happened to me and that I can rise above the scared victim within.
And then my twin flame came into the picture and I realized I was still holding onto a massive amount of guilt, blame, and anger. I cannot tell you how many times he saw right through me, saying, “You’re always the victim aren’t you? It’s you against the world.” And he was absolutely correct; I was blaming my behavior on the actions of others rather than take responsibility and ownership for my feelings. I was letting myself be small, rather than admitting that I had allowed someone else to take my power away from me in the first place.
All of your emotions, good and bad, are yours. Do not deny that what you have gone through was a painful experience, or downplay its affect on you. Instead, take ownership of your hurts, release them, and let love and forgiveness for yourself and others take their place. This is how you take your power back from the “abuser”/painful situation: loving yourself enough to live your life in happiness rather than helplessness and anger.
Realize that healing is a process, and it very rarely happens overnight. Many of us also have abuse from past lives to clear away as we move upward on our ascension path. Learning how to forgive yourself and your twin if you have one, while releasing yourself from the “abusers” in your life is a crucial step to finally healing those hurts and moving upward. The inner victim is the one that is still attached to the wound, and to the “abuser”. Release yourself because that is what you deserve in the long run. And where that wound used to be, fill up with divine love from yourself, from above, and from your twin (if applicable).
In the end, I have had to release myself from blame and resentment; I know that I deserve more than to live my life with that baggage weighing me down, pushing me through the same patterns over and over. And this is still a choice I make everyday – to not let my inner victim control how I feel or act. I am the creator of my reality – not the victim – and I have the power to live my life at a higher level of consciousness.
I’m being guided to share this with you next: remember that if someone else’s actions evoke a negative response in you – that is yours to heal and “deal with”, not anyone else’s. The world can act as a mirror to our own insecurities, reflecting that which still needs to be transformed within us before we can move on. This is often why people get stuck in patterns of behavior and relationships – they are being prompted by the universe to heal and clear that part of themselves, but instead hold on and replay the same lesson over and over again. Rather than get stuck in this karmic loop, take responsibility for what is being reflected back to you. Look at that situation as a gift, an opportunity, rather than an inconvenience (this is a great way to look at twin flame separation, by the way).
You are not the victim, you are the powerful creator of your story. You are an expansive soul filled with love. Be that. Take responsibility, and allow yourself to heal and move upwards. You can do it, I believe in you!
I’m sending you all lots of healing love and light!