A Letter on Grieving

To my Beloved on why I still grieve.

I don’t grieve for having lost you: I can’t because you are still here. I have only lost you externally. But I feel you with me – within me – at all moments, and I know that I carry you in my heart. I have already cried the tears of you leaving, and walked into the bliss of our infinite union. 

So why do I grieve? Why do I still let the tears flow freely? I grieve for the pains of the past, the patterns left on replay, and the life we are now leaving behind. I grieve so that with every tear, the past is dissolved of its baggage, released at last from the chains that held it in place. I grieve so that the future can be less impeded, and bathed in more light. I grieve so that we may be free at last.

And I know that this has been a solo journey that I needed – that I decided – to take. Yes, we are one, and yes you are here in spirit wiping the tears from my face. But this was a choice that we made individually in this lifetime, and together throughout time. And now it is my decision to grieve what was, letting it dissolve into the light pouring through and around us, so that we can be open to what will be.

I cry these tears so that the change is free to manifest however it needs to. I cry so that we may be pulled upward into the light. We are on the precipice of a new beginning. Allow it and let it be, my love. Let all that was be replaced by light. Let all that has yet to pass be bathed in love. I grieve for this, allowing the tears of pain transform into tears of joy.

I look into your soul and I see our pain. I let it flow, and I love us through it. I see our scars and I kiss them, I see the dirt smudged on our faces and I wash them away with my tears. This is true transformation. This is what our divine love has allowed me to do.

Thank you for the grief, for now I can be more, be higher, and love deeper.

I love you, my love. I wish only the best for you.


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