Once we can see our shadow, we can transform it by learning the lessons and integrating it into our whole self. That’s the goal!
The shadow is made up of the parts of you that are born from fear, and the part that you were told to hide throughout your life. It is what you have repressed, or not taken responsibility for. It is what rules the dark corners of your mind, your subconscious. (You can read more about how the ego is based in survival fear here.)
So how do we transform the shadow? We bring it out of the darkness and into the light. We look at it square in the eye and embrace every part of it.
And once you can hold this piece of you in your hands, you can choose how you want to act. You can fall into fear patterning, or you can see the lesson, and choose to become stronger despite the “fault”. Be vulnerable with yourself, for true strength and courage can only be born from an open, honest, and vulnerable heart.
For example, I have been called “oversensitive, emotional,” and an “emotional-basket case.” I would fight and say, “No that’s not me, you’re forcing me into an emotional reaction!” or, “I’m the normal one, and you’re just closed off!”
But then I started to own that part of myself. I looked within in honest observation and saw the truth. I am very sensitive, I am an emotional basket-case – but I love that I am emotional. I love that I can empathize and feel everything so vividly. I love this part of myself and I embrace it wholeheartedly.
And now, I don’t fight myself when I am emotional. I don’t stuff my feelings into a box where they explode later, usually harming someone else in the blast. I feel what I feel when I feel it, and then I move on. I let the emotion float away and I return to myself, my center of peace. I am now aware of my basket-case tendencies, and now I can choose to process my emotions healthily rather than explosively.
Now I see where the strengths of my perceived weakness lies. Because I am emotional and empathetic, I can relate to people on a deeper level. I can help them, be there for them, and heal them in ways that other people cannot. By owning this Shadow element of myself, I have uncovered my strength in my vulnerability.
Identify these parts that you have been ashamed of, own and love them, and they will rest easy. And then you can make conscious choices to live life healthier and more “awake” than before. You take your power back from where you were holding yourself back.
Your Soul, your Higher Self, designed these shadows before you came into your body because you wanted to overcome the conditioning and the shame that comes with being authentic. You are meant to face the darkness, not run from it and try to stuff it into a box. Bring your light into the dark cave of your shadows. Cry, be a mess for a few minutes or an entire night, and then hug yourself and heal your scars. This is how you become your divine self. This is how you walk the earth as a whole and integrated being of light.
I’m sending you all a whole lot of light on your journey through your shadows. Remember to go with love.